Positive Guidance Tools of the Trade – Validate and Reflect Feelings

Have you ever frustrated or angry?  I mean really frustrated or angry?  Almost beyond words?  Doesn’t that just add to the aforementioned frustration?  Well, imagine being a child.  (It shouldn’t be too hard, I’m pretty sure you were one once.)  Young children are bombarded with emotions just as intense as our own – if not more so as they are not tempered with the same reason and justification we can sometimes muster.  These little ones feel just as frustrated and angry as we ever could, but have even less of an ability to verbalize it.  Too often, that results in some other manifestation or communication of the emotion.  This is when we usually see the tantrums, the biting, the hitting, the kicking, etc., etc., etc.  How do we as adults usually respond?  We swoop in, console the victim and cite the offender, lecturing them about that behavior.  We see it as a failure to behave properly, when often, it is a failure to communicate properly.

While I’m not saying that consequences should be ignored, I do think we are too frequently jumping past a critical first step.  In any highly emotional response for a young child, the first reaction we need to have is to label and validate those emotions.  We need to help them understand what they are feeling and let them know that the feeling is OK – even when the behavior is not. 

Think about it.  We all get angry.  I’m sure you’ve all had a turn feeling “righteous indignation”.  You’re angry, and you know you have every right to be angry.  Heads of State and geniuses get angry.  Well, children get angry too.  And many times for good reasons.  Getting angry is not a problem.  It’s how we respond to the anger that often causes problems.  We need to teach children how to properly respond, without sending the message that their feelings are wrong.

Here are some ways this may play out:

“Adam, I understand that you feel very angry right now, and it’s OK to feel that way, but hitting other children is never OK in this classroom.  Can you think of a better way to act when you feel angry?”  (Talk about simply saying “I FEEL ANGRY!”, or squishing all your anger into some playdough, or finding a quiet place for some deep breaths……etc.)

“Sandy, I know that you feel very sad because the other girls didn’t want to play your game.  I would feel sad and disappointed too.  Maybe you could ask if they’d like to play after they finish painting. – OR- Can you think of someone else you might like to invite to play your game with you-OR- Can you think of something that you like to do that makes you feel happy?”

By first helping them to label the feeling, it gives them tools to use to communicate in the future.  It also helps them to know they have been heard and understood, which is sometimes all they were looking for in the first place.  Lastly, it teaches them to recognize the feeling and to connect it with more appropriate behaviors in the future. 

Read here for more on Verbalizing Emotions.

Positive guidance posts start here!

Positive Guidance Toolbox can be found here!

Top photo by hortongrou.

Shaky Egg Sound Match

Here’s a quick, easy, and inexpensive way (music to a teacher’s ears, right?)  to create a great tool for incorporating music and auditory discernment.  Whoa, back up the truck, what was that?  “Auditory discernment” is the ability to hear the differences and similarities between two sounds.  It can be as simple as hearing the difference between a bell ringing and a horn honking, but it’s also the groundwork for hearing the difference between the sounds in words, like the short e sound and the short i sound.  Phonemic awareness is a critical reading skill, and it is completely auditory.  So building auditory skills actually paves the way for reading skills.  OK, so back to the project at hand!

You’ll be making a set of shaky eggs with different sounds to be matched by the children.  If you haven’t made shaky eggs before, you really should- they’re so easy.  I explained the process way back here.  For this little project, make six different sets of eggs by using six different fillers.  You might want bells, coins, rice, popcorn, salt, and beads – just to name six off the top of my head.  Keep in mind that the amount in the egg affects the sound as well, so make pairs exactly the same, and consider differentiating pairs by having disparate amounts (one set with just one bead each, and another set with ten, for example).  To simplify, you may want to use just two colors of eggs, so that each pair has one of each color.  That just makes it easier for the children to match the sets, knowing they only have to check against six other eggs, not eleven. 

Now that you have six sets, you have an even dozen and can use a clean egg carton for your case.  Line up one color in one row and the other color in the other row.  Have the children pick one egg, give it a shake, and listen.  Then help the children shake the eggs in the other row, one at a time, until they find the other egg with the same sound.  Once a pair is found, they can put them side by side in the same carton, or in a second egg carton to keep confusion down!

There you have it!  I told you it was easy!  It’s a great sensory matching exercise, and you can always use the eggs for music time as well!

More from the “Exploring the Arts through Our Senses” unit here!

The Pied Piper of Hamelin

I try to fit a nursery rhyme, fable, or fairy tale into each unit.  As I’ve mentioned before, these are the literary classics of childhood!  When talking about the arts and the senses, I like to introduce the story of the Pied Piper of Hamelin!

You can check out a book to read out loud, create a flannel board story, or use the coloring pages from this website.  Whatever your method, get familiar with the story and bring it to life in your storytelling.  After the story, talk about whether or not the children think it could really happen.  Probably not….at least not exactly (though the story’s historical roots are actually debated).  Nonetheless, listening to music can make us want to move in different ways, depending upon the way it sounds.  Play a few samples and have the children suggest what type of movement the music makes them think of.  Choose samples that remind you of a lullaby, a dancing tune, a quiet tip-toe song, etc.  End with a march and have the children march, parade style, to your next activity!

This activity builds language and literacy skills as well as an appreciation for, and experience with, music and movement.

More from the “Exploring the Arts through Our Senses” unit here!

Positive Guidance Tools of the Trade – Problem Solving

Teachers and parents of young children are notoriously good problem-solvers.  When discontent arises, we swoop in, assess the situation, and set timers, create turn-taking lists, grab another item for sharing, or utilize some other method from our bag of tricks.  We are so good at problem solving because we get so much practice!  This is all well and good, and at times a skill of survival, but to truly benefit children for the long run, it is ideal to involve them in the problem solving process.  It may slow things down a bit, but eventually you will find that you are “swooping in” less and less as the children build their own sets of social problem-solving skills and become more independent.

To be sure, problem solving is a complicated task.  Let’s be honest, there are plenty of adults who don’t have these skills!  Encouraging children to be problem solvers is more than saying, “Let me know how that works out for ya!”  Depending upon the individual child’s level of language skills and cognitive skills, we will coach them along at varying levels of support, scaffolding them through the process.  In essence, we are simply going through the process out loud and giving them a part in it.  Here are a few ways that I help children learn to problem solve, spanning across developmental levels.  Pick and practice those that apply best to the children you love and teach.

Describe the situation.  Come down to the child’s level, and put your arm around her if she seems comfortable with that.  Without passing judgement, describe what’s going on.  Keep your voice calm, and the child will likely follow.  “You look angry.  Tell me about it.”  Younger, less verbal children benefit greatly from this labeling process as their ability to feel very intense emotions far outweighs their ability to verbally express them (read more on Verbalizing Emotions).  In situations where there are two parties, you should encourage each person to tell his side.  “Lee I’m going to have Jesse tell what he thinks the problem is, and you and I are going to listen, and then Lee, you’re going to have a turn to tell Jesse and I what you think the problem is.”  If they’re fighting over an object, first say, “I’m going to hold this until we get things worked out.”  Gently remove it, and hold it out of sight if possible, so that the children can focus on talking rather than gaining possession. (For more on sharing, read here.)

Gaining peer feedback helps the children see things from another child’s perspective.  This is a very difficult task for young children, but hearing how their actions have affected another can help them make this leap.  It helps them to realize that their choices are not without consequences for themselves as well as for others.  When working with less verbal children, or a child who is too upset to speak, we must use adult feedback, where we as adults speak on behalf of the child.  “That really hurt Flora when the ball hit her.  She didn’t like it at all, and it made her feel really sad.  Do you see her face?  That looks very sad.”

What can we do?  Once you’ve clarified the problem, ask the children, “What can we do?”  As the children make suggestions, refer to the other party again, saying, “What do you think about that?”  Your job during this phase is to simply referee.  Make sure each party gets to make suggestions and weigh in on the other child’s suggestions.  Help them to be objective and find a solution that everyone can live with rather than getting overly emotional and waging personal attacks.  (Perhaps the political world could use some of this coaching…..but I digress.)  If the children are struggling, you may make some suggestions yourself.  “Hmmm.  We could set a timer and then take turns, or we could play with it at the same time, or we could put it away and paint instead…..” 

For very young children or children who may struggle through this process, you may simply present a solution and give them a smaller part to negotiate.  “It sounds like Tara had it first, and Sasha would like a turn.  Tara, I’m going to set my timer, so we know when it’s Sasha’s turn.  Should I set it for 3 minutes or 5 minutes?  OK Sasha, Tara will be done in five minutes and then it will be your turn.  Does that sound fair to you?” or “It sounds like you were just very frustrated because you needed help building the tower.  Who could you ask for help? OK, say, ‘Lisa will you help me build this tower?'”

For children who are more capable and familiar with the problem solving process, you may even get them started and then say, “Let me know when you come to an agreement.” Though you should still stay relatively close in case tempers flare again.  You’d be surprised as to the creative solutions children can come up with on their own when they’re given the tools and the space to own the problem!

Giving children an active part in the problem solving process- even if it’s just hearing the process out loud as you guide them through with simple questions- helps them to build the social skills necessary to problem solve in the future.  It also helps them to own their behavior, recognizing that you as an adult are there to help, not to fix things for them.

Not just in the heat of the moment.  Hopefully now you see the benefit of guiding children through the problem-solving process as conflicts arise.  Problem solving and negotiating is hard to do, particularly when the stakes- and tempers- are high.  Give children practice with these skills in other moments when they are in a less vulnerable position.  As an example, with my own boys, when we go to the library, they love to pick from the assortment of DVDs.  I allow each to pick one, and then allow them one additional DVD that they can agree on together.  If they can agree, great we get a bonus DVD.  If not, I simply respond, “That’s OK, we can try again to agree next week.” (Though that generally spurs them on to try negotiating one more time.) I often remind them that “I want this one, but I want that one” is arguing, not negotiating.  Then I tell them they need to share their ideas.  “Tell the other what you like most about the one you have, and maybe you’ll find some things you both like.” This is great practice in a safe situation.

So give it a try.  Find ways you can encourage your children to problem solve in safe situations, and coach them through the tougher conflicts they have with each other.  You’ll find that as they become more capable, you’ll be putting yourself out of a job! 

Positive guidance posts start here!

Positive Guidance Toolbox can be found here!

Photo by melbia.

Fruity Scented Kool-Aid Playdough

I love cinnamon scented playdough, which I listed here, but I also love the fruity scent of Kool-Aid scented playdough!  Adding an extra appeal to the senses could hardly be easier!  Start with the Classic Playdough Recipe.  Add a packet of Kool-Aid to the water before adding it to the pan.  Ta-da!  Simple, right?  Now, if you already have a batch of playdough made up, you can also knead the powder right into the dough.  It takes a bit of time to get it mixed through, but because it hasn’t been cooked, the scent may actually be stronger that way.  Just be sure that the powder has been worked in completely.  You may even want to let it sit overnight to be sure that the powder has been fully absorbed. 

I recently kneaded some grape Kool-Aid (OK, it was Flavor-Aid, I’m a cheap skate!) into some leftover glitter playdough.  The color intensified and the smell was fantastic!  Some of the children even watched the transformation and were excited by it, asking for more Kool-Aid to mix into other playdough batches.

Adding a scent to your playdough takes a tactile sensory activity and adds another sense, making it multi-sensory.  It is appealing to the children, literally inviting the children to come explore as the scent wafts across the room!  It is also a great way to extend a familiar activity.  In addition to sensory development, playdough play enhances creativity and fine motor strength.

More from the “Exploring the Arts through Our Senses” unit here!

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Create a Texture Shape Exploration Station

Children love to explore!  That is a widely accepted fact!  So here’s a little project you can do quickly and inexpensively to create a fun exploration station where they can explore shape, size, and texture, and create designs to their little hearts’ content!

First, cut a variety of geometric shapes out of sturdy cardboard.  I like to have smaller and larger versions of the same shapes for larger/smaller comparisons, and I also like to use some of the unit block principles (two triangles are the same size as one square, two squares are the same as one rectangle, etc.).  Next, cover those shapes with a variety of textures.  Go through your fabric scraps for silky, bumpy, ribbed, or wooly.  Raid your tool shelves for sandpaper and dig through your craft closet for smooth foam or spent and wrinkly aluminum foil.  One of my favorite textures is created from corrugated cardboard.  Sometimes you can find it with the corrugates exposed, other times you have to peel back one layer.  It’s fantastically bumpy!

Add self-adhesive magnets to the back and use them on a magnet board against the wall or at your working tables.  (If you’re concerned about the children pulling off the magnets, you may want to cover them with packing tape, or cover the entire back with contact paper.)

As children create a variety of designs with the geometric shapes (patterns, butterflies, etc.) talk about the names of the shapes, how the shapes feel, and how they compare in size.  This encourages language skills as they describe the shapes and the stories behind their designs, creativity as they come up with their designs, as well as math skills as they begin to be familiar with the characteristics of geometric shapes and can compare them using terms like smaller than, larger than, half as big, etc.  While they’re at it, they’re also using their small motor skills to manipulate the pieces, science knowledge is built as they explore with the magnets, and social skills would certainly come into play if they happen to be working with a partner.  Wow!  Who knew one fun little exploration center could support so many different areas?  There are even more objectives that could come into play, but my fingers are cramping up, so you’ll just have to recognize those yourselves!

Often, after free-play time, as I’m gathering the group, I will grab these shapes and ask who played with that area that day.  Then we’ll quickly go through the shapes as  a large group, discussing the shape names and characteristics as well as their textures.  This creates a quick opportunity for review as a group, while also sparking interest in that area for the next day.

More from the “Exploring the Arts through Our Senses” unit here!

Paint You Can See…Smell…and Feel!

 

If you’d like to incorporate a few more senses into your painting projects, add some regular salt generously to your tempera paint and use as fingerpaint or with a brush.  The resulting project will have a bit more texture and grit that becomes even more visible as it dries.  Use side by side with “regular” paint for a great texture comparison.  This will spark interest as well as encourage the use of new vocabulary words like bumpy, gritty, sandy, smooth, etc.  (If you’re not fingerpainting, you might want to use your older brushes for this one, as the salt tends to get into the bristles a bit.)

The next day you can add another sense to the activity as you make your paint scented!  Just add a packet of Kool-Aid to the container of paint!  I actually added to the salty paint I had left over for a combined experience.  (Do be cautious, as the Kool-Aid seems to make the paint a bit frothy.  It can overflow, albeit slowly!)  The Kool-Aid adds a fruity scent while also intensifying the colors (which may also affect the washability, depending on the product).

Making your art activities multi-sensory makes them more appealing, while also enhancing the senses and building language skills as the children are bound to talk about the differences they’ve observed!  Painting in general also builds creativity and fine motor control and strength.

So try something new with paint you can see, smell, and feel….I suppose you could also add hear if you add some music….though I wouldn’t recommend tasting, at least not with this salty Kool-Aid concoction!

More from the “Exploring the Arts through Our Senses” unit here!

Book Activity: My Crayons Talk

My Crayons Talk by Patricia Hubbard is a perfect introduction into the interplay between color and language.  The girl in the story explains how her colors talk as she draws.  For example, “Yellow chirps, ‘Quick, Baby chick.'” The accompanying picture shows the girl sitting in a straw-colored meadow, surrounded by baby chicks, while wearing a sunny sun dress and funky sunglasses. 

As you read the story, point out that the colors don’t actually talk in a way the girl can hear, but that the colors remind her of things.  They make her feel a certain way.  After the story, or after each color, talk with the children about what the colors remind them of.

After the story, I like to use this My Favorite Color poem page to do a whole language activity.  It gives each child the chance to think about her favorite color in terms of each of the five senses.  As she completes each thought, her words are written down, creating a connection between the written and spoken word.  You can enhance this language and literacy activity by slowly sounding out the words, or asking questions like, “What letter does ‘blue’ start with?”, or simply thinking out loud as you write (“Purple.  P..p..p.. that sounds like a “p” to me!” “I like writing “T”! Straight down and straight across!”).  Don’t make it overly laborious, but enhance the experience as it feels appropriate.  (For more  tips for encouraging beginning writers, read here.)  Afterward, the children draw pictures right on top of their words, or on the back of the paper, whichever they prefer.  It’s a preschool masterpiece combining visual and language arts along with the five senses!

This activity builds sensory awareness, creativity, and language and literacy skills.  It is also just an enjoyable experience to hear the children’s answers!  Some are poetic, others silly, and some are very matter-of-fact, but they are each unique to the individual child who composed them! 

More from the “Exploring the Arts through Our Senses” unit here!

Book Activity: Mouse Paint

Mouse Paint by Ellen Stoll Walsh is one of my very favorite books for teaching about primary and secondary colors.  The children absolutely love it as well.  In the story, three mice climb into three jars of paint (red, yellow, and blue) and then begin dancing, stirring and mixing with their feet as they blend the primary colors together to create secondary colors.  (Incidently, White Rabbit’s Color Book by Alan Baker is also fantastic and follows a very similar format.  Just in case one is easier for you to get your hands on than they other!)

I love to follow up this activity with a color mixing activity.  Simple finger-painting works well, as does the Colorful Snack activity.  My favorite way to extend this activity is with tie-dying!  I love to start out with a white rolled up shirt, and then dip it into each color just as the mice in the book.  Here’s how I usually do it.

For starters, I like to follow the spiral pattern explained here at the Rit website.  So read through those directions first, and then my directions might make more sense!  (I could only hope!) I like this because it gives a great wearable sample of color mixing as the colors blend together. 

I start out by putting the water on the stove to heat up as I read the story with the children.  Once we’re done and the water is sufficiently heated, I pour the water into three bowls (this will stain plastic, so ice cream buckets or something disposable is great, otherwise use stainless steel).  I ask the children about the three colors in mice paint as I add the dye to make one red, one yellow, and one blue – just like in the book.  The Rit instructions give specific proportions, but I kind of eye-ball.  About half to a full gallon of water to half a container of dye.  This is much more concentrated than the directions call for, but it gives more vibrant colors.

Then we twist up the shirts as directed and secure with rubber bands to create our white “mice”.  Now, I am generally a very hands-on person, but once it comes to the dying part, I pretty much keep it to my own glove-covered hands.  (I mean, we are talking about boiling hot water and permanent dye.)  I dip the shirts into the first color and have the children count or sing to help me time the process.  I try to get 1-2 minutes in each color.  Give the shirts a quarter turn as you dip them into the next color.  Once you’ve been through all of the colors, you can unwrap them to show the result.  I’ve found, however, that if you let the shirts sit for a few hours to “cure” the colors are a bit better.  So you may want to do a “dummy” shirt so that the children can see the result without unwrapping theirs. 

The Rit directions also say to unwrap the shirts before rinsing.  There tends to be a bit of color picked up by the white areas of the shirt as you rinse, but this is minimized if you do your rinsing while the shirts are still wrapped.  Rinse as well as you can, until they run clear.  The shirts still need to be washed and dried afterward, so there will be some bleeding, but a bit less than if you unwrap before rinsing.

I like to show the shirts again before sending them home, since some time will have elapsed since the activity.  We talk again about the story and how we made the shirts, and I point out the different colors in the shirts.  You can find where the yellow and red meet together to make orange…and on and on.  I send the shirts home with a note reminding parents to be careful as they wash them for the next few washes in case the colors bleed further.  (I usually just wash mine with towels for a while.  Of course, I don’t really have fancy towels though.)

You’ll notice in one of the pictures above, I have one batch of shirts in the red and another in the yellow.  This worked OK, but I found that when I used the same dye for more than one batch, my colors were a bit tainted.  So if you can, do all the shirts at once.  I like to do it with a small group, about 4-6 children at a time, one group per day, so I can have a fresh batch each time.

This is a really exciting activity that incorporates the concepts of primary and secondary colors, wearable art, and the senses as the children see and smell the dye and as they feel the shirts they made.  It is a perfect extension for either Mouse Paint or White Rabbit’s Color Book, which builds language and literacy skills as well.  So glove up, and get into some Mouse Paint!

More from the “Exploring the Arts through Our Senses” unit here!

Positive Guidance Tools of the Trade – Choices and Consequences

Sorry about the delay on Positive Guidance Posts!  Hopefully the combination of a few topics here will make up for my paucity of posts!

I mentioned in an earlier post about the importance and power of choice for children.  Giving children the opportunity to make choices builds their esteem, their independence, and gives them practice for future, more critical choices.  Here, I’d like to add to that by discussing how offering choices can be used to guide behavior, and how the consequences of a child’s choice can also shape current and future behaviors.

Guiding behaviors.  There are several ways we can use choices to guide behaviors.  The first is by redirection.  When a child is engaged in an inappropriate behavior, say running inside a classroom for example, we can use choice to redirect that behavior by giving appropriate choices.  We might say something like, “Sarah, running inside isn’t a choice today.  There are too many people and things in this room, and I’m afraid someone might get hurt.  You can choose to go outside and run, or you can walk with me around the room to find an activity you might like.” 

We can also use choice to guide behavior as we clarify the choices that are available and their accompanying consequences.  For example, if your child is supposed to be dressing but is not, you might say, “Damon, if you choose to get dressed right now, I will be here to help you.  But if you choose to keep playing and do it later, I will not be able to help you.  You will have to do it all by yourself.”  Be sure to pay attention to your tone of voice.  Don’t state the choices as threats, merely as a matter of fact statement.  Another example might be, “Abbie, this is snack time.  You may choose to eat with us, or to keep reading books.  Either way, there will not be another snack time today.  If you choose to eat with us, you probably won’t get hungry later.  If you choose not to eat with us, you might get hungry later when there is no snack time.”

Choices are not without their consequences.  As a matter of natural law, choices have consequences.  Too often we, as parents or teachers, are tempted to rescue children from those consequences.  We offer “one more chance” again and again.  (And I include myself in this category!) We just hate to see those sweet little ones upset and disappointed.  We avoid the meltdown in the short-term, but we also avoid the teachable moment.  We must remember that our responsibility is not to keep children from feeling any sort of discomfort in life.  It is our responsibility to teach these children and help them to gain the skills necessary to succeed now and in the future.  Sometimes that learning and growth requires a bit of discomfort.  There are far too many people in this world who struggle in life, in large measure, because they do not consider the consequences of their own actions, or do not feel personal responsibility for those consequences.  Learning that can take place in these early years can prevent such behaviors.  Particularly when we have outlined the consequences of specific choices, we must be willing to love children enough to let them experience the consequences they have chosen.

Consequences versus punishment.  Consequences are not really about punishment.  It’s not about exerting authority or inflicting unpleasant  conditions.  Allowing consequences is simply a matter of giving children the opportunity to learn about choices.  It’s about giving them ownership of their behavior. 

When we come from a punishment mentality, we tend to think that if the child doesn’t throw a fit, or exhibit disappointment, as a result of his punishment, then he hasn’t been  punished enough.  We, as adults, come from a position of authority and often try to control the situation, perhaps too much so. 

When we implement a mentality of choice and consequence we come from a place of love and support.  We allow the children to choose, and to fully experience that choice along with its consequences.  We are there to support and coach, but the choice and the consequence are owned by the child.  Just because a child deals with the consequence without so much as pouting, doesn’t mean that it has been a failure.  It likely means that the child is learning to accept personal responsibility and to deal appropriately and independently with those consequences.

As we talk about consequences, there are two types: natural consequences and logical consequences.  The two will be discussed and clarified here.

A Natural Consequence.  Sometimes, all that is necessary to implement a consequence is simple hesitation.  All we have to do, is do nothing.  The consequence will occur on its own as a matter of natural laws.  As an example, if a child chooses not to eat dinner, that child will become hungry. 

We, as adults, must use reason in deciding which natural consequences we will allow to happen.  Not all are appropriate.  A natural consequence of not brushing is severe decay and cavities.  Simply allowing that to happen is not an effective learning opportunity and is negligent on our part.  Likewise, any natural consequence that results in injury or humiliation is not an appropriate learning opportunity.  Waiting for a child to break an arm is not an effective way to teach that jumping off of a slide is not safe.  Obvious, I know, but you get the point!

A Logical Consequence.  Logical consequences may not happen on their own, but are logically connected to the initial behavior.  As in the previous example, where a natural consequence of not eating dinner would be hunger, a logical consequence would be not getting dessert.  It’s logical that if a child does not first have a healthy dinner, she can not have a rich dessert.  An illogical consequence would be not getting computer time or not getting a sticker because she did not eat her dinner.  In these examples, the consequence and the choice have very little to do with each other.

A logical consequence should be timely so that the connection can easily be made.  It should also teach the cause and effect concept of choice.  Logical consequences connect the behavior to the result and may be a preferred substitute for natural consequences that may not be appropriate or safe or that may take too long to occur for learning to be connected. 

Positive Consequences.  As we teach children about choice and consequence we must not forget that their choices often have positive consequences as well.  We should be just as diligent in emphasizing these consequences as we are in supporting their undesired consequences.  If a child is particularly timely in getting ready for bed, it is logical that as a consequence, there is more time for stories.  If a child works hard at the art table, it may be a natural consequence that she has several magnificent projects to take home.  We can draw her attention to that consequence by commenting, “Sylvia, you worked so hard today!  I noticed you spent a long time at the art table.  Look at all these things you were able to make!” 

As we allow children to make choices, and as we allow them to experience the consequences, we begin to build a foundation for future decision making.  When we can allow them full ownership of their behavior, they will begin to recognize that their choices have consequences and that they are able to control those consequences by carefully choosing their actions. 

Positive guidance posts start here!

Positive Guidance Toolbox can be found here!

Photo by musaid.